Tuesday, 20 October 2009

Robs beer quest: The quest steps up a level.

Next weekend folks I will be attending a very important beer hunting event. A one that I will (probably) only get to attend once in my beer drinking days. That event is, my stag weekend. Joining me on the event will be fellow blogger and home brewer the mighty Ed. Yes you may know him. Alongside others strong with the brewing force we will be venturing through the streets of York hunting pubs guided only by a map devised by my work mate drayman Dave, Daleside breweries number one dray, who knows York better than I know the intricacies of my beer cellar (/cupboard).

So among the cobblestoned streets of York we shall hunt out the finest in Yorkshire beer. But why York I hear you ask? Well out of the many options (Brussels, Munich, Portland Oregon) the best man found it the most realistic, affordable and easily achievable option, and you can’t argue with that.

But as exiting as it gets I also have been given the horror stories. Like how I will probably end up handcuffed to a lamppost naked or dumped on boat to Dubai. Or even worse handcuffed to a lamppost naked on a boat to Dubai. So because of this I have devised a list of simple rules for stag attendees.

Rules of the stag.

1. No shots.
2. No drinking games.
3. No beer bongs.
4. No illegal drugs. No drugs at all (except ethanol), unless medical emergency arises.
5. No D.I.Os (down in one)
6. A minimum time of 50 minutes should be spent in each pub. This allows sufficient time for participants to consume 1-2 pints or 3-4 half pints of session strength beer during the stay, with an optional toilet break.
7. No Extremist homicidal nutcases, or even just dangerous nutcases.
8. No Chavs.
9. No trendy bars or club, full of young’uns dressed in trendy clothes acting all loud with bumpedy bump music, plastic chairs, flashing lights everywhere, tv screens showing mute music videos with no half decent beer or spirit options in sight.
10. No Hawaiian shirts (especially blue ones).
11. No stripping anyone to lampposts (or any other objects) naked.

Ok so it’s a little strict, but no true beer enthusiast wants to be rushed on there beer, especially if it’s a good find. And lets face it how can you enjoy a beautiful beer, discuss the entirety of its glory, and jot down tasting notes if the music’s so loud you cant even think and your too busy concentrating on how to get through this crowd of dancing people without spilling the stuff. But I have to have a bit of a moan, that’s what being a CAMRA member is about after all. Another possible turn up for the event will be the mighty Craig Witty, Daleside frontman and head brewer, so get your autograph books at the ready.


Ed said...

Oh come on Rob, these rules are a bit harsh for a stag night, and we've already forked out for the boat ticket to Dubai ;-)

wendy said...

Steve's brother lives in York and his favourite pub is the 3 legged mare, no loud music and loads of real ale.


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